you know whats really sad? when your younger brothers are out partying with friends when you have nobody else to be with. i just graduated and i know its supposed to be a happy thing but to me i just feel empty.i cant  see anything happy right now. everyone in my family has something for them.im the middle child of five children 2 older brother and sister and 2 younger brothers. each of them has something my older brother has his work,parties,friends and girlfriend,my sister has her husband and her 2 little girls.my 2 younger brothers are kinda the same my second to youngest brother he acts like my older brother with the alcohol,drugs (supposedly)and parties with his friends my youngest brother hes like my friend but whenever he goes with his friends im just reminded that he has his own life and that i have no one. i do have friends but im thinking since they have college and i call them they may be busy with something or with someone else and i don't want to bother them. that's another thing sometimes i feel like im too nice and just let myself be this way because im too shy to say anthing. i want to be a nice person that doesn't let himself be told what to do but i don't want to be that guy that annoys everyone. i want to be a massage therapist and study it more in college and find a nice job but honestly im more scared of the future because i feel that im alone and that i have no one to talk to or to be with.

im sorry for the rant ive just been feeling depressed lately